| DATE | VENUE | WHINGE NOTES | 2008 |
| 6th - 13th August | Edinburgh, Hell | Taking part in some of the "Best Of Irish" or could be "Worst Of Irish" depending on how the shows go!!! |
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| 7th/8th August | Sligo/Leitrim | Apparently it's some kind of comedy mash-up organised by John "Goish Coint!" Colleary! |
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| 27th July | Hapenny Inn | |
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| 17th July | Hapenny Inn | |
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| 5th July | Bankers | |
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| 5th July | International, Dublin | |
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| 17th - 22nd June | Filming Block #2 of Headwreckers, Belfast | |
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| 25th June | International | |
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| 10th June | Revolution, Waterford | |
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| 26th May | Woolshed M.C. | |
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| 20th - 23rd May | Filming Block #1 of Headwreckers, Belfast | Me and Dave McSavage dressed as Nazis on the Shankhill Road in Belfast! Never a good idea |
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| 19th May | Woolshed M.C. | |
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| 15th/17th May | Bankers Comedy Club | Holy Fucking Shit and Bloody Hellfire - that was probably the worst gig I've been at in months. First off, a dozen HAMMERED Ozzies in the front who had lost all diction and comprehension of time. Then, down the back, an English stag party giving all the usual BritBollox. In the middle, the audience couldn't focus on the stage cos they were getting it from both sides. SHITE! with a capital WANK! |
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| 14th May | Hapenny Inn | |
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| 12th May | Woolshed M.C. | While Damian "Tequila" Clark hauls his ass across Oz for May I'll be looking after the sheep! |
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| 8th/9th/10th May | The Interantional | |
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| 1th May (The one'th of May! What the f**k is that!?) | Comedy Cafe, London | |
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| 27th April | The International | New material night i.e. if the jokes are shite, it's not my fault :) |
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| 25th April | Toners Bar, Baggot Street | Another S+S night (Or should that be S+M night!) |
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| 20th April | Hapenny Inn | |
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| 18th April | Toners Bar, Baggot Street | S+S Night |
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| 5th/6th April | Laughternoon Show | This weekend:- Michael "Cyclone" Mee, Steve "Cobain" Cummins, Keith "Looks a bit like Lee Mack" Farnan |
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| 3rd April | Bray Comedy Club | Ah yes, Bray. A little corner of the Northside of Dublin in Wicklow |
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| 2nd April | Dalkey Comedy Club | Roysh!!! |
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| 2nd April | DIT | ...and again... |
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| 1st April | DIT | Hooray. More badly organised student bollix for snotty nosed trust fund fuckers studying wasting their parent's money on Charger Lager and bad dope! |
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| 16th/17th March | The St Patricks's Weekend Laughternoon Show | There's a market of tourists ready to be exploited on weekend afternoons, and I'm the man for the job! |
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| 14th March | Neptune | Not the planet, the comedy club |
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| 13th March | Hapenny Inn | Fucking Hapenny again!!! |
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| 12th March | International | |
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| 9th March | Bewleys | The most difficultist club in Dublin on the grounds that it's usually full of arty twats and smelly oul wans! |
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| 28th February | Aungier Street Students Union Rag Week | If ever the world needed an example of how NOT to set up student gigs then this was it. Such a crock of inattentive shite!!! |
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| 25th February | Woolshed | Damain and Milly's attempt at world domination! |
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| 23rd February | Bankers, Dublin | Combined gig and comedian search party |
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| 21st February | Legends, Enniscorthy | Got the call from Steve (Cobain) Cummins to headline the gig in the newly started Legend's of Enniscorthy (It has glitz written all over it!!!). Got there and no-one showed up. The multimedia machine of Stanley and Clark were across the street and hovered up all the available people with I Dare Ya!!! |
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| 20th February | Hapenny Inn | Low numbers - this is what happens when champion's league football is on. Muppets won't get off their arses and into town. |
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| 1st Feb | Some bar in Fethard-on-sea | Down in the middle of nowhere MC'd by Mark Swan. Turned out to be a genuinely a great gig and long may they run. |
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| 24th/25th/26th January | International | |
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| 18th January | Private function, Athlone | Farmer's post-christmas party |
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| 17th January | IADT | A free gig for students in something that resembles a church. It has all the requirments for a shit night!!! As it happens it turned out to be alright. |
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| 6th January | Hapenny | What can I say except "Simon, those eyebrows are getting a bit unruly!" |
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| 3rd January | Bankers | Audience is always a bit "odd" and not quite as "laughy" as other gigs. It's also the oddest shaped room - There are comedians still lost down the back |
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| Can't remember (or can't be arsed remembering) the other gigs I did for the rest of the year | ||
| 25th October | Portlaoise | Bernard O'Sheas comedy debate which almost turned into a bloodbath courtesy of the drugged up Welsh and English tossers in the audience |
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| 23rd October | Empire, Belfast | Always a lively spot, but you try getting a late drink in that fucking town! |
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| 19th August | Cuba, Galway | Courtesy of Gerry Mallon, largest ingester of acid on the west of the Shannon, this club is rapidly going downhill |
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| 16th August | Glee Club Birmingham | Best club anywhere. Pity the fuckers book 5 years in advance. The only good thing about B'ham is that there's a gay bar that serves £1 drinks. I'm Irish, so therefore I'll climb over supermodels to get to a £1 a drink night!!! And let's face it, if you were gay you'd never leave the place. |
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| 9th/10th/11th August | Comedy Cafe, London | I mean August!!!. I got this booking in January for fuck sakes. It might as well be next bastardin' year!!! |
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| 14th June | Glee Club, Cardiff | |
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| 19th/20th/21st April | International, Dublin | |
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| 17th April | Empire, Belfast | |
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| 30th March | Kiltimagh, Electric Mouse, Dublin | Electric Mouse eh!!! It's a disgrace what goes on in vivisection labs!!! Dunno whether it was me or the dirty jokes but these fuckers weren't biting at all!! |
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| 28th March | International Comedy Cellar, Dublin | |
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| 21st March | International Comedy Cellar, Dublin | |
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| 17th March | St Patrick's Comedy Festival, Vicar Street | |
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| 13th March | Student Gig,Limerick | |
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| 6th March | Bewley's Cafe Theatre | |
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| 1st March | Falls Road, Belfast | I shit you not! The Falls in Belfast. Better gear up on Proddy gags! |
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| 22nd/23rd/24th February | International, Dublin | |
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| 15th February | Montreal Showcase, Vicar Street. Dublin | I'm convinced this fucking showcase is a fucking fix. Canadian cunts! |
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| 11th February | Ha'penny, Dublin | |
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| 9th February | Navan | |
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| 8th February | Ha'penny, Dublin | |
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| 7th February | Sugarclub | Normally the shittest gig in the city (and I should know, I hired it out myself for my own show) next to that wankstain that passes for a comedy club on the quays! |
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| 6th February | Bewleys Comedy Cafe | Meself and Eleanor doin' the hollywood thing again |
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| 25th January | Barrel O' Laughs, POD, Harcourt st, Dublin | This is where all the posh fuckers go apparently! |
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| 3/4/5th January | International, Dublin | |
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| 27th December | Hapenny Inn, Dublin | |
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| 27th December | International, Dublin | |
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| 8th December | Sligo, Niland Arts Centre | They've got an arts centre! Well fuckin' ex-cuse me!!! |
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| 7th December | Leitrim, Somewhere | I think there's 7 people left in the county. |
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| 5th December | Revolution, Waterford | |
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| 30th November | Hapenny Inn, Dublin | |
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| 24th November | Comedy Store Late show, London | This is about the millionth time that I've tried to impress them - and I have. It's just the standard is so f**king high. I'm seriously thinking of sleeping with the owner at this stage! Normally I wouldn't think twice about that kind of thing but he's a 65 year-old man with a gammy leg! |
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| 24th November | Electric Mouse Comedy, Palmers Green, London | |
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| 23rd November | Glee Club, Birmingham | Not Birmingham, Alabama but Birmingham, UK!!! Top club |
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| 21st November | Bewleys, Dublin | |
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| 5th November | Hapenny Inn, Dublin | |
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| 2nd/3rd/4th November | International, Dublin | |
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| 1st November | International Comedy Club - Laughable of History Of Movies Thru Comedy | |
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| 28th October | Bankers Comedy Club, Dublin | The last time I did this place I was ripped drunk, couldn't remember any of my material and had to leave half-way through my set to go to the bathroom, came back from the bathroom then couldn't stand up anymore! Professional - that's me. |
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| 26th October | Gibneys Comedy Club, Malahide | |
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| 18th October | Ha'penny Inn - Laughable of History Of Movies Thru Comedy | |
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| 3rd October | International, Dublin / Bray Comedy | |
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| 2nd/4th October | Ha'penny Inn - Laughable of History Of Movies Thru Comedy | Meself and the Tommy Nick and Eleanor Tiernan have knocked this idea together over the past few months and is as it says on the tin - a history of movies thru comedy! |
| -------------------- | -------------------- | -------------------- | 1st October | KillForASeatComedy, Oxford | This is one of Silky's 8000 comedy clubs in the UK. Cant wait. He's a gent is our kid Silky!!! |
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| 27th September | International, Dublin | |
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| 20th/21st September | Hapenny Inn, Dublin | |
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| 29th August | Bewleys Cafe Theatre, Dublin | |
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| 27th August | Cuba, Galway | |
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| 24th,25th,26th August | International, Dublin | |
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| 20th August | Hapenny Inn, Dublin | |
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| 6th August | HIFI Music Festival, Mullingar | |
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| 4th August | Cleere's Comedy Club | Second time down to the city that has cats made out of marble or maybe it's cats that eat marbles or something. Anyway, it has something to do with cats and marbles. |
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| 18th July | Bewleys Cafe Theatre, Dublin | Bewleys is a bit like Starbucks except more wood and fewer wankers! |
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| 13th July | Hapenny Inn, Dublin | |
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| 13th,14th,15th July | International, Dublin | |
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| 6th July | Hapenny Inn, Dublin | |
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| 28th June | International, Dublin | |
| -------------------- | -------------------- | -------------------- | 20th June | Revolution, Waterford |
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| 16th June | Childline Gig, Vicar street | Worthwhile chariddy gig for abused kids who have been harmed thru having to listen to shit gags. This turned out to be a great night for everyone tho' I think the bit where I compared Mr.T to Mr.A wont make it onto the telly. Touchy audience! |
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| 13th June | The Empire, Belfast | The Nordy bear-pit beckons once more. |
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| 4th June | Morrisons, Kilkenny - Boston Comedy gigs | But I still managed to get down to Kilkenny and do some gigs courtesy of Big Bru from Boooooston! |
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| 2nd/3rd June | International Comedy Club, Dublin | While the other comedy pixies are having fun down in Kilkenny I'm holding the fort up in Dublin |
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| 31st May | Some comedy place in Durry, Narn Erlind(Derry Northern Ireland) | Was asked to do this on the 12th of July but that's the start of Marching (Burn Catholics) season, so ehm no thanks. |
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| 26th May | The Venue, Rathfarnham | Dont know much more about this place apart from the fact that it's massive |
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| 18th/19/th/20th May | International Comedy Club, Dublin | |
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| 18th May | Ha'penny Inn. Dublin | |
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| 16th May | Bewleys Comedy Theatre, Dublin | Dublin's newest hippest club. Apparently it's a great room and dead posh with people drinking tea with their little fingers sticking out and going 'Haw haw haw haw' |
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| 10th May | International, Dublin | |
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| 5th May | Comedy Club, Navan | |
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| 4th May | Glee Club, Birmingham | At last, the limeys are ready to pay me for a paddy humour onslaught. This is one great club |
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| 3rd May | Ha'penny Inn. Dublin | |
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| 21st/22nd April | Kinsale Comedy Festival | Congrats to Rob Collins for putting this weekend together. Tough gigs but a helluva lotta fun. Too much drinking and laughing. Highlights included me drunkenly singing the German national anthem complete with machine gun sounds, Bernard O'Shea's mickey! , Henning Wehn's hilarious set in Daltons pub and me arranging to be the broker in the sale 1000kg of stolen copper wire by Polish builders. They said they'd offer me 10% of the sale price. Any offers? |
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| 13th April | Hapenny Inn, Dublin | |
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| 6th April | Comedy Cafe , London | Another kick-ass UK gig from the long Paddy |
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| 2nd April | Break for the Border. My former hunting ground :) | Bollox!!!. The club is already shut down. So no mun and no fun! Coulda been good tho, Bernard O'Shea rumoured to be involved in intimidation efforts @ Break For The Border!!!! |
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| 29th March | Is Eyre Square finished? | I remeber hearing on the news that this was the date that war-ravaged Eyre Square would be finished. Fingers crossed |
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| 23rd March | Gibneys, Malahide | MCing for ginger-topped tornado psycho Jason Byrne |
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| 21st March | Revolution, Waterford | A lot of the lads aren't mad about this place but I've always done well. And besides, Flash gives out free drink. |
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| 17th/18th March | Murphy's Laughter Lounge, Dublin | The Friday night(Paddys night) was shite cos no-one turned up. Saturday was better. I think it's modelled on an indoor soccer pitch tho! |
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| 15th March | The Hinternational, Dublin | |
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| 9th/10th/11th March | The Hinternational, Dublin | |
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| 4th March | Comedy Store Late show, London | If I dont get a paid gig out the c**nts this time there'll be trouble. Well, not really but y'get my drift |
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| 3rd March | Time, Naas. | I doubt if the disco-bound masses from Tallafornia are going to be in humour for anyhing too sophisticated. |
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| 2nd March | Ha'penny Inn | Tony "The Gent" Ferns is kicking off Thursday nights here. Should be good. |
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| 23rd February | Gibney's Malahide | What the fuck is so difficult about getting people to stand near the front of the stage at gigs. Christ on a bike!! |
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| 3rd February | Cleere's Comedy Club | Great new club in Kilkenny run by the soft spoken Cathy Hogan. It even has a Green room for the comedians with crips and drinks and nuts. Ace! |
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| 25th January | Ha'penny Inn | |
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| 25th January | The International | |
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| 12th/13th/14th January | The International | |
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| 2005 | ||
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| 28th December | The International | |
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| 4th December | Hapenny Inn | |
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| 3rd December | Draiocht, the poncey arty place in Blanchardstown | Better come up with some good tracksuit gags |
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| 24th November | Some Pub in Landsdowne Road | Steve "Lord of the rings" Cummins is putting this together. Hmmm! |
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| 23rd November | Matt Saddlier is putting this one together in Limerick | Note to self: Avoid eye contact with general population. Wear stab-proof vest |
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| 9th November | The International | Did lots of new bits including my new folk song about the Google Search Engine |
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| 5th November | Ha Bloody Ha, Chiswick, London | The last time here it was f**kin ace so they got me back for more |
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| 4th November | Comedy Store Late show, London | More comedy for drunken sods at 2 o'clock in the morning |
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| 27th, 28th, 29th October | The International, Dublin | |
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| 22nd October | Trinity College, Dublin | |
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| 12th-16th October | Spot On comedy clubs. Various locations around the oul sod | Givvus petrol money Ciaran fercryingoutloud! |
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| 9th October | Ha'penny Inn, Dublin | The last time I was here it was full of special needs people. They didn't exactly get a lot of what of what I was going on about!!! |
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4th October |
Martin (Kangaroo) Henchion's Revolution Club Waterford | Always a good night |
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| 30th September | Glee Club, Birmingham | Back for another bite at the Brummie cherry cos they liked it so much the last time. The room is a piece of piss. Even my granny could get a laugh and she's been dead 11 years! |
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| All of August | Edinburgh Comedy Festival | Christ!!! Not again. This time I'm in The Smirnoff Underbelly |